6 things you hate about me

So, my pal Amber has tasked me with identifying "6 Things You Didn't Know About Me". Not being one to ignore a request by the Lady Miss Amber, here you go:

1.) I only eat M&M's in pairs of like colors. If I run out of like colors, I'll eat them in pairs of warm or cool colors (the brown ones are like wild cards, they go with whatever). I'm not psycho about this habit though, so don't call the OCD Police on me yet. If push comes to shove and I can't art-direct my treats, I'll eat M&M's out of a hobo's ass.

2.) Thanks to my ex, I can only sleep in pitch black rooms. Yeah, he got me used to this little habit, now I'm hooked. No drapes in my bedroom? I'll have a pair of stanky old drawers over my eyes...I can't abide by anything less than total darkness. The only exception being airplanes or cars on road trips, which leads me to my next fun fact:

3.) Upon embarking on a plane or road trip, I immediately fall asleep where I am sitting (unless I'm driving). It's some weird, conditioned response I've developed, I have no control over it whatsoever. I could be riddled with uppers and Jolt Cola, I'll still fall asleep once we hit cruising altitude.

4.) I have an unusually wide jaw. Now boys, don't get all sweaty yet, I didn't say unusually "big" I said unusually "wide", so I can't fit all your hot, hot cocks in my mouth all at once. But, when getting a dental impression done, the dental hygienist must find the biggest trays in the building to fit me. That's cool, right?

5.) I LOVE having me hair played with. I don't care who does it, I just need to have my hair touched, fingered-through, petted, scratched, brushed, twirled or whatever. There is nothing in the world that compares to it, I swear, my womb clenches when I am getting hair-play. When I die, I'm going to try to be reborn as a house cat.

So, there you go, I hope that was educational for everyone, the test will be next Thursday.