My stars! You must be really, really important, or famous or something. You must be like JLo or Colin Powell important! I was so humbled by your presence in the cardio theater this morning, I almost asked for your autograph, but then I was too shy to ask. I mean, you must be someone super amazing, I can't think of any other reason why you would need to take 2 cell phone calls within 10 minutes of each other this morning...in the gym...2 treadmills away from me...in the cardio theater. Surely something catastrophic would have happened if you didn’t take those 2 calls, even though it sure looked like you were just gossiping, I bet you were really saving the world....you know, "taking care of business". Cause if you weren't "taking care of business", you would have intentionally violated the sanctuary of the cardio theater. You wouldn’t do that, would you? I mean, the cardio theater has the same rules as a regular movie theater, and you know that. You wouldn’t take 2 cell phone calls in a regular movie theater, would you? No way, you're way too classy to be doing that nonsense, right? Man, I sure am glad those 2 phone calls were that important, and that you were the only one on the planet who could have provided the answers to those questions, and that you felt confident enough to take those calls, even though you were in the cardio theater with several other gym patrons. However, if you ever pull that kind of shit again, in my cardio theater, I'm gonna pull a razor outta my titties and cut you.
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