Mmmmmm...wine

Here's the deal, once I've had 2 glasses of wine down my gullet, I get entertaining. I talk back to the TV, I talk back to my stuff (i.e. The couch, pillows, shoes, etc.), and I apparently talk to things at Safeway. Yesterday evening, I caught myself smack-talking the hot dog aisle because I didn't find any low fat turkey dogs (which are lovely and delicious). But the thing is, I didn't even make words for the most part. I mumbled unintelligibly for a few seconds and slurred the words "ain't no dang-ole turkey dogs..." and then mumbled on some more. And I wasn't even drunk, not hardly! Just a bit punchy and loose-lipped. The best is when I back talk the TV though, those sessions are always comedy gold. The specifics of the talk are irrelevant, just know that every now and then, I'm telling my TV how it is, and it's funny stuff. The moral of the story is this: next time you see me, try to get me into the wine.