Gird your loins

Every once in a while, something special finds its way into your life. Sometimes that could be a stray kitten or a great new job, but once in a blue moon, that "something special" will fuck you up for life. Something that is the stuff of nightmares. That type of "something special" wandered into my life courtesy of my pal Wilksey.

Wilksey calls me one day to say that she sent me something neat in the mail, and to keep my eyes open for it. Then she giggled in a way that made me uncomfortable. She sent it to my office, because it was to be a "good luck in your new job" type gifty. So, I waits, and I waits, then I waits some more. Finally, I get this big-ass brown box in the mail. So, I scamper back to my cube, box under my arm, and I start cutting open that bad boy. And let me tell you, this sucker is packaged well. I was begining to think she had sent me a Ming Vase or something equally as exotic and or breakable. Finally, I get to the lastlayer of packing material, and this fantastic sight greets me:





Behold...CLOWN! Don't act like this didn't freak you out...you know it did.

P.S. Wilksey said the lady that sold her this crazy thing suggested she hang it in a baby's room. What kind of fucked-up parent would do that to a sweet, little baby? That's the kind of shit that makes your baby a ward of the state.