Phantom Burrito Smell

So, check this shit out...I get home from a hard days work, you know...movin', shakin'...makin' things happen...that kind of stuff, and I walk up to my apartment, and I know someone from maintenance has been in my place. I can tell, cause I never lock the bottom, door handle lock thing when I leave, I only lock the deadbolt. So, I noticed that the door knob thing was locked, and I had put in a service request for several things (floorboards fucked up, broken microwave, and closet door off the track), so I used my deductive reasoning to figure out some body had been in my Soul Dojo. I walk in, and I know immediately that the floor is still jacked up, so they didn't fix that. Then, I noticed that the microwave is still broken, so they didn't fix that. It seems like maybe they fixed my closet door, since that's the last thing on the to-do list. But dig this, not only is the closet door still off the track, MY ROOM STINKS LIKE A BURRITO!!! I haven't had a burrito in 5 months, so I know it's not me, so I start looking around the room, trying to find the smell-source. I can't freakin' find it! Nothing in the trash can, nothing under the bed, nothing on the dresser, nothing in the closet itself, nothing in the bathroom...where is this damn burrito what's stinkin' up the joint?! Where, damn you!!?? Seriously, where is it...it stinks in there. I Febreezed the ever-lovin' shit out of the room, then walked away. If that doesn't work, the room is dead to me.

P.S. Spellcheck tried to replace "freakin'" with "foreskin"...that's funny. I love spellcheck.