Hippie Hair

I’m not sure if dudes have this happen, or if other chicks do, for that matter, but I woke up a few days ago, and my freaking hair was long as hell. I mean, it’s so long that it get’s caught in the car door when I close it. It’s so long that it get’s caught behind my back when I sit in a high-backed chair. It’s so long that Crystal Gayle asked for my autography. Well, not really, that last one was a lie. Aren’t I naughty? Tee-hee! The thing is, I only have myself to blame; I hate spending my money on getting my haircut. Right about now, the dudes that read this will be saying “damn sister, just shell out the 8 bucks for a Super Cut and call it a day.” Which segues into one of the major differences between being a dude and being a lady. Now dudes, don’t worry, this isn’t going to turn into a “down with dick!” diatribe, but y’all do have some advantages when it comes to hair cuts and dry cleaning. “That’s because we have less hair”, some of you might be saying, but I challenge you to find a lady with really short hair that pays under 40 dollars per haircut. Same with dry-cleaning. I can take a white button down, cotton shirt to a dry cleaner, and it’s 15 bucks to get it clean. A dude can take the same shirt in, and it’s a buck fifty to clean. What the fuck!? But, it balances out when one examines how expensive men’s shoes are (damn! They’re like 300 dollars for a nice pair!) Back to the issue at hand…seriously, it’s like 150 buck every time I get my hair done…can you believe that shit? I ain’t got that kind of money laying around, so I only cut and highlight my hair about 3 times a year. It’s been about 3 months since the last round, so I’m close to being due, but my hair is freaky-ass long for some reason. Maybe someone’s spiking my juice with pre-natal vitamins or something, I don’t know. Moral of the story, get a haircut, you damn hippie!