I am the conferece call MASTA!

So far, I have successfully used the words "masturbatory" and "vaginal canal" in conference calls this year. Praise me, for I am great.

The "vaginal canal" one was delighful, because it was said in a room full of dudes, and they freaked the shit out when I said it. But, it's not like I just whipped "vaginal canal" out of nowhere or anything, our clients are Always and Tampax, and we are doing a teaching module for tampon insertion with an animation house in town, and they didn't have the anatomy of the lady parts correct. They had this crazy, tubelookin' thing they called the vagina, and that ain't right. The vagina isn't some massive, gaping tunnel, man! It's a muscular structure...look it up on the inter-web, you'll see I'm right. How they hell do you think tampons stay up there, magic? I assure yu, they do not.

Anyway, "masturbatory" was even more great, because it truly did come out of nowhere. That was said back when I was in DC, and my whole team was on a conference call with these dingleberries in NYC who work for some hot-shot ad agency up there. And man, they were wearing my ass out with all there "suggestions" for our work. They'd say shit, and we'd be like "yeah, we tried that, and it didn't work visually, but thanks for suggesting it", and these guys would not relent with their bullshit "ideas". Over and over and over again with these bad, lame suggestions, and they were just not hearing us when we said "no". So finally, I spoke up and said "you know, we CAN do that for you guys, but frankly, it would be purely masturbatory at this point". Jaws dropped. It rocked. And guess what? Those turd-burgelers backed the shit off.

Blogda rules, end of story.

P.S. I hope Walter reads this, he get's so uncomfortable when women talk about anything crass or dirty. Tee-hee!