With Excellent Cow Leather

Now, I'm not a very fancy gal, but I like me some sparkly shoes every now and then. And come on, who doesn't. Communists...that's who. Anyway, to me, when one is looking to buy some snazzy, sparkly shoes, nothing quite compares to those beaded, flea market flats you can get for 10-20 bucks. Dang, they're purdy! And they come in almost every color of the rainbow, which is gear, fab and all that. Cause I like to mix it up a bit: black shirt, blue jeans, RED beaded-flea-market-shoes! Pow! It's like style just kicked you in the gooch, and you liked it. So here's the deal, I have been looking for a pair of these suckers in bright, grass green, cause I lika-the-green, and green-lika-me. Not sea green, not olive green...GRASS green. Problem is, flea markets don't think this is a very marketable color, so I haven't ever seen it on the shelf. But, since I'm a smart lady, I decided to cruise on up to the information super highway, and see if I can find me some shiny green shoes. Guess what? I can't find that shit anywhere. What the fuck, man? I can find a face cream made out of snail "leavings", but no green shoes? Lame. The one good thing about my search was getting to read all the rad headlines from vendors in third world countries, like "Made with excellent cow leather". Made me want to buy a pair even though they didn't come in any color but baby blue (a weak, paltry shade if there ever was one). But seriously, they are made of EXCELLENT cow leather...imagine the quality! I bet those shoes are so fine they would make Sinatra look like a hobo.