The Fat Man

So, I'm taking a bath last night, reading my book, minding my own beeswax, and I feel these eyes on me. Because I''ve been peeped at once before (when I was 13 or 14 years old, the yard guy peeped at me while I was in the tub; it was a weird combination of feeling really gross and feeling flattered), and becasue I believe in ghosts, I looked up to see what was what. There, sitting on my hallway rug, is my cat. Now, unless you've met my cat, you may not understand what magnificant sight he is. The Fat Man, also known as Flea, Big Stuff, Fatty and El Gato Guapo Hombre, is a gray and white housecat that weighs in at an impressive 20 pounds. Some of that mass is fattness, but he's also just a huge creature. He's not just a cat, he is a force. He also has really unusual green eyes that always look big and round like dinner plates. Back to the story. So, I'm in the tub, minding my own beeswax, and I feel this stare. The Fat Man is laying on the rug, giving me this stare that says ""what the fuck are you looking at?" It was then that I realized that my cat was cooler than me, and he knew it. This cat allows me to hang out with him, but almost in a condescending way, but I'm cool with that. I mean, it makes me cooler by association, right?